100 funny kids jokes
100 funny kids jokes that can be read by kids at any time. we picked for you these 100 kids jokes for you to enjoy , laugh and have fun. Funny kids jokes can be totally funny if they are shared with friends and family.
- The Fake Noodle
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An im-pasta.
- The Problem With Atoms
Q: Why can’t you trust atoms?
A: They make up everything.
- The Bottom of the Sea
Q: What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.
- The Driving Dino
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?
A: Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
- The Shy Farts
Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A: A private tutor.
- The Virtues of Switzerland
Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
- A Match Made in Heaven
Q: Who did the zombie take to the dance?
A: His ghoul-friend
- Tiny Beaches
Q: What washes up on really small beaches?
- The Astronaut’s Baby
Q: How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
A: You rocket!
- Rich Elves
Q: What do you call a rich elf?
- Ghost Beverages
Q: What do ghosts like to drink the most?
- Cold Vampires
Q: What can you catch from a vampire in winter-time?
- Tooth Time
Q: What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?
A: Tooth hurty!
- Giant Talk
Q: How do you talk to giants?
A: Use big words!
- Broken Boomerangs
Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.
- Clashing Colors
Q: What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea?
A: Their crews were marooned.
- Octopus Laughs
Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles.
- Smarter Than a Parrot
Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee.
- The Friendly Ocean
Q: How does the ocean say hello?
A: It waves.
- Artichoke Fatality
Q: How do you make an artichoke?
A: You strangle it.
- The Bashful Tomato
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Humpty Dumpty
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
A: To make up for his miserable summer.
- The Scared Skeleton
Q: Why was the skeleton afraid of the storm?
A: He didn’t have any guts.
- Writing Hands
Q: Which hand is better to write with?
A: Neither, it’s better to write with a pen.
- The Sad Math Book
Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because of all its problems.
- The Cool ’Shrooms
Q: Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?
A: Because they’re such fungis! (Fun guys, get it?)
- Plate Whisperer
Q: What did one plate whisper to the other plate?
A: Dinner is on me.
- Sized Right
Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A: A palm tree!
- The Holy Water
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.
- A Real Celebrity
Q: Did you hear about the famous pickle?
A: He was a big dill!
- Traditional Thanksgiving
Q: Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?
A: No, you should just stick with turkey.
- After School Elves
Q: What do elves do after school?
A: Their gnome work.
- Another Name for Seagull
Q: What do you call a seagull when it flies over a bay?
A: A bagel.
- Flower Math
Q: How many lips does a flower have?
- What did the duck say after she bought the lipstick?
Put it on my bill.
- The Theater
Q: Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
A: He was just going through a stage.
- The Magic Dog
Q: What do you call a magic dog?
A: A Labracadabrador.
- Like a Parrot
Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot.
A: A carrot.
- Cheese Propriety
Q: What do you call cheese that’s not your cheese?
A: Nacho cheese.
- Why Dogs Can’t Dance
Q: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A: They have two left feet?
- Again Snowman
Q: What do you call an old snowman?
- The Imprisoned Picture
Q: Why was the picture sent to jail?
A: It was framed.
- Tissue Dance
Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?
A: You put a boogie in it.
- The Hospitalized Banana
Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: He was peeling really bad.
- Baseball Hero
Q: Which superhero hits the most home runs?
- It Has Wheels and Flies
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck.
- The Problem With Baseball Stadiums
Q: Why is a baseball stadium always cold?
A: Because it’s full of fans!
- Strongest Days of the Week
Q: What are the strongest days of the week?
A: Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weekdays.
- How to Stop a Bull
Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Cancel its credit card.
- The Pile of Cats
Q: What do you call a pile of cats?
A: A meow-tain.
- Jungle Royalty
Q: Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
A: Because he is always lion.
- Pregnant Bed Bug
Q: Have you heard of the pregnant bed bug?
A: She’s going to have her baby in the spring.
- Sensitive Burglar
Q: Why was the burglar so sensitive?
A: He takes things personally.
- Bathroom Break
Q: What did the tired toilet say to the plunger?
A: I’m flushed.
- The Population of Ireland
Q: Did you hear about the population of Ireland?
A: It’s Dublin.
- The Bike Fall
Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
A: It was two tired.
- The Cool Shark
Q: What do sharks say when something cool happens?
- The Butcher Accident
Q: What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?
A: He got a little behind in his work.
- The Wet Sand
Q: Why was the sand wet?
A: Because the sea weed.
- The Rubber Toe
Q: What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
- Nosy Pepper
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeno business!
- Vampire Insomnia
Q: Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife fall asleep?
A: Because of his coffin!
- The Actor
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because every play has a cast.
- Why Birds Fly
Q: Why do birds fly to warmer climates in the winter?
A: It’s much easier than walking!
- Mummy Music
Q: What kind of music do mummies listen to?
A: Wrap music.
- No Eye Fish
Q: What do you call a fish with no eye?
- What do you call a fly without wings?
- Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window?
To see butter-fly.
- Why didn’t the teddy bear eat dessert?
He was stuffed.
- What does a vampire take for a sore throat?
- What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
“Robin, get in the car”.
- What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
- What do you call the wife of a hippie?
- What do you give a sick lemon?
- What street do ghosts haunt?
- Where did the computer go dancing?
- What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
- Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
It’s always 90 degrees.
- What do you call a fish with no eye?
- Why do you smear peanut butter in the road?
To go with the traffic jam.
- What is Harry Potter’s favorite method of getting down a hill?
Walking… jk, rolling.
- What kind of shoes do spies wear?
- What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
Q. Where does a king keep his armies?
A. In his sleevies!
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
Q: Why was the lettuce embarrassed when it opened the refrigerator door?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
A: Look for the fresh prints.
Q. What do yo do if you see a spaceman?
A: Park in it, man.
Q: What did zero say to eight?
A: Nice belt.
90.Q: What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Rabbit farts.
91.Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
A: Where’s my tractor?
92.Q: Why did the man go to bed?
A: Because the bed can’t come to him.
93.Q: What is red and wears a cape ?
A: Super Tomato
94.Q: What do you call an Irishman on a porch?
A: Paddy O’Furniture.
95.Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
A: About halfway.
96.Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan!
97.Q: What did the duck say to the chicken as he was about to cross the road?
A: Don’t do it mate, you’re never going to hear the end of it.
98.Q: Why did the computer cross the road?
A: Because it was programmed by a chicken.
99. Q.Whats blue and white and cant climb trees?
A. a refrigerator wearing overalls.
100. Q: Why should you never go into the forest on Thursdays?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice skydiving.
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