100 funny kids jokes

100 funny kids jokes


100 funny kids jokes that can be read by kids at any time. we picked for you these 100 kids jokes for you to enjoy , laugh and have fun. Funny kids jokes can be totally funny if they are shared with friends and family. 

  1. The Fake Noodle
    Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
    A: An im-pasta.
  2. The Problem With Atoms
    Q: Why can’t you trust atoms?
    A: They make up everything.
  3. The Bottom of the Sea
    Q: What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
    A: A nervous wreck.
  4. The Driving Dino
    Q: What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?
    A: Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
  5. The Shy Farts
    Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
    A: A private tutor.
  6. The Virtues of Switzerland
    Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
    A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  7. A Match Made in Heaven
    Q: Who did the zombie take to the dance?
    A: His ghoul-friend
  8. Tiny Beaches
    Q: What washes up on really small beaches?
    A: Micro-waves.
  9. The Astronaut’s Baby
    Q: How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
    A: You rocket!
  10. Rich Elves
    Q: What do you call a rich elf?
    A: Welfy.
  11. Ghost Beverages
    Q: What do ghosts like to drink the most?
    A: Ghoul-ade!
  12. Cold Vampires
    Q: What can you catch from a vampire in winter-time?
    A: Frost-bite!
  13. Tooth Time
    Q: What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?
    A: Tooth hurty!
  14. Giant Talk
    Q: How do you talk to giants?
    A: Use big words!
  15. Broken Boomerangs
    Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
    A: A stick.
  16. Clashing Colors
    Q: What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea?

    A: Their crews were marooned.
  17. Octopus Laughs
    Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?
    A: With ten-tickles.
  18. Smarter Than a Parrot
    Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
    A: A spelling bee.
  19. The Friendly Ocean
    Q: How does the ocean say hello?
    A: It waves.
  20. Artichoke Fatality
    Q: How do you make an artichoke?
    A: You strangle it.
  21. The Bashful Tomato
    Q: Why did the tomato blush?
    A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
  22. Humpty Dumpty
    Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
    A: To make up for his miserable summer.
  23. The Scared Skeleton
    Q: Why was the skeleton afraid of the storm?
    A: He didn’t have any guts.
  24. Writing Hands
    Q: Which hand is better to write with?
    A: Neither, it’s better to write with a pen.
  25. The Sad Math Book
    Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
    A: Because of all its problems.
  26. The Cool ’Shrooms
    Q: Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?
    A: Because they’re such fungis! (Fun guys, get it?)
  27. Plate Whisperer
    Q: What did one plate whisper to the other plate?
    A: Dinner is on me.
  28. Sized Right
    Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?

    A: A palm tree!
  29. The Holy Water
    Q: How do you make holy water?
    A: Boil the hell out of it.
  30. A Real Celebrity
    Did you hear about the famous pickle?

    A: He was a big dill!
  31. Traditional Thanksgiving
    Q: Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?
    A: No, you should just stick with turkey.
  32. After School Elves
    Q: What do elves do after school?
    A: Their gnome work.
  33. Another Name for Seagull
    Q: What do you call a seagull when it flies over a bay?
    A: A bagel.
  34. Flower Math
    Q: How many lips does a flower have?
    A: Tu-lips.
  35. What did the duck say after she bought the lipstick?
    Put it on my bill.
  36. The Theater
    Q: Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
    A: He was just going through a stage.
  37. The Magic Dog
    Q: What do you call a magic dog?
    A: A Labracadabrador.
  38. Like a Parrot
    Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot.
    A: A carrot.
  39. Cheese Propriety
    Q: What do you call cheese that’s not your cheese?
    A: Nacho cheese.
  40. Why Dogs Can’t Dance
    Q: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
    A: They have two left feet?
  41. Again Snowman
    Q: What do you call an old snowman?
    A: Water.
  42. The Imprisoned Picture
    Q: Why was the picture sent to jail?
    A: It was framed.
  43. Tissue Dance
    Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?
    A: You put a boogie in it.
  44. The Hospitalized Banana
    Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
    A: He was peeling really bad.
  45. Baseball Hero
    Q: Which superhero hits the most home runs?
    A: Batman.
  46. It Has Wheels and Flies
    Q: What has four wheels and flies?
    A: A garbage truck.
  47. The Problem With Baseball Stadiums
    Q: Why is a baseball stadium always cold?
    A: Because it’s full of fans!
  48. Strongest Days of the Week
    Q: What are the strongest days of the week?
    A: Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weekdays.
  49. How to Stop a Bull
    Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
    A: Cancel its credit card.
  50. The Pile of Cats
    Q: What do you call a pile of cats?
    A: A meow-tain.
  51. Jungle Royalty
    Q: Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
    A: Because he is always lion.
  52. Pregnant Bed Bug
    Q: Have you heard of the pregnant bed bug?
    A: She’s going to have her baby in the spring.
  53. Sensitive Burglar
    Q: Why was the burglar so sensitive?
    A: He takes things personally.
  54. Bathroom Break
     What did the tired toilet say to the plunger?

    A: I’m flushed.
  55. The Population of Ireland
    Q: Did you hear about the population of Ireland?
    A: It’s Dublin.
  56. The Bike Fall
    Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
    A: It was two tired.
  57. The Cool Shark
    Q: What do sharks say when something cool happens?
    A: Jawesome!
  58. The Butcher Accident
    Q: What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?
    A: He got a little behind in his work.
  59. The Wet Sand
    Q: Why was the sand wet?
    A: Because the sea weed.
  60. The Rubber Toe
    Q: What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
    A: Roberto.
  61. Nosy Pepper
    Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
    A: Jalapeno business!
  62. Vampire Insomnia
    Q: Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife fall asleep?
    A: Because of his coffin!
  63. The Actor
    Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
    A: Because every play has a cast.
  64. Why Birds Fly
    Q: Why do birds fly to warmer climates in the winter?
    A: It’s much easier than walking!
  65. Mummy Music
    Q: What kind of music do mummies listen to?
    A: Wrap music.
  66. No Eye Fish
    Q: What do you call a fish with no eye?
    A: Fssshh.
  67. What do you call a fly without wings?
    A walk.
  68. Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window?
    To see butter-fly.
  69. Why didn’t the teddy bear eat dessert?
    He was stuffed.
  70. What does a vampire take for a sore throat?
    Coffin drops.
  71. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
    “Robin, get in the car”.
  72. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
    An irrelephant.
  73. What do you call the wife of a hippie?
    A Mississippi.
  74. What do you give a sick lemon?
    A Lemon-aid.
  75. What street do ghosts haunt?
    Dead ends.
  76. Where did the computer go dancing?
    The Disc-o.
  77. What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
  78. Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
    It’s always 90 degrees.
  79. What do you call a fish with no eye?
  80. Why do you smear peanut butter in the road?
    To go with the traffic jam.
  81. What is Harry Potter’s favorite method of getting down a hill?
    Walking… jk, rolling.
  82. What kind of shoes do spies wear?
  83. What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
    Flood lights.
  84. Q. Where does a king keep his armies?

    A. In his sleevies!

  85. Q: How do you catch a squirrel?

    A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut.

  86. Q: Why was the lettuce embarrassed when it opened the refrigerator door?

    A: It saw the salad dressing.

  87. Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

    A: Look for the fresh prints.

  88. Q. What do yo do if you see a spaceman?

    A: Park in it, man.

  89. Q: What did zero say to eight?

    A: Nice belt.

    90.Q: What’s invisible and smells like carrots?

    A: Rabbit farts.

    91.Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

    A: Where’s my tractor?

    92.Q: Why did the man go to bed?

    A: Because the bed can’t come to him.

    93.Q: What is red and wears a cape ?

    A: Super Tomato

    94.Q: What do you call an Irishman on a porch?

    A: Paddy O’Furniture.

    95.Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

    A: About halfway.

    96.Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

    A: Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan!

    97.Q: What did the duck say to the chicken as he was about to cross the road?

    A: Don’t do it mate, you’re never going to hear the end of it.

    98.Q: Why did the computer cross the road?

    A: Because it was programmed by a chicken.

    99. Q.Whats blue and white and cant climb trees?

    A. a refrigerator wearing overalls.

    100. Q: Why should you never go into the forest on Thursdays?
    A: Because that is when the elephants practice skydiving.


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